The Lighter Side of Life

Last time I didn't have a single "Hannah" story to share with you, but I'm making up for it this time!  :)

When we were visiting MeeMaw and Kimpaw over Spring Break a couple of weeks ago, Kimpaw asked Hannah what she was studying in school.  When she told him she was learning about California, he immediately grabbed an apple, a banana, and some walnuts, and held out his hand and said, "Hannah, this is California." 

"A bunch of fruits and nuts!"

(And if you're reading this and you're from California, he wasn't talking about you!  He was talking about the other people!)  ;)

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One night we were getting ready to do our devotional.  Greg, Millie, and I were all in the living room already, so I asked Hannah to grab a Bible and bring it into the living room with her when she came in. 

She said, "Isn't the King James Bible on the table in there?"

Greg said, "No, we're not using the King James.  It's too hard to understand."

So she walked in with a Bible in her arms and said, "Here's my easy reader Bible, Dad.  You should be able to understand it."

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A couple of weeks ago, I took Hannah to Books-a-Million because she wanted a Sudoku book of her very own.  While we were there, I found a copy of Digital Photography for Dummies and started looking through it.  Hannah asked what it was about, so I explained the premise behind the Dummies series, that they have books about any topic you can imagine, and they explain everything to you as if you're a dummy who doesn't know anything about the topic to begin with.  I told her they probably even have a Sudoku for Dummies book.

Her response?  "Well, I ain't no dummy."

I said, "Well, you sure sound like one when you talk like that!"

She said, "No I don't.  I sound like Grandpa."

I said, "Yeah, you do sound like Grandpa."

Everything was quiet for a minute, then Hannah said, "So ... you think Grandpa's a dummy, huh?"

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Later that day, we were at Wal-Mart picking up some groceries.  The girls were tired, so both of them were riding in the cart.  Needless to say, there wasn't a whole lot of room for the groceries!

I handed Hannah a carton of eggs and said, "You be careful with these.  You know what happens if they get squished!"

Without missing a beat, she grinned and said, "Yep!  We get to have scrambled eggs!"

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Hannah went to church camp for Kids' Weekend a couple of weeks ago, and I took advantage of the opportunity to take Millie out to eat since it's rarely just the two of us.  We ended up at McDonald's because I am not only a health nut but also a big spender.  ;)

I was getting our food when Millie pointed to her mouth and said, "Mom, I still have my gum!"

I said, "Look, there's a trash can right there.  Go spit it out."

I picked up our tray off the counter, thanked the server, and turned my attention back to Millie—sweet, literal Millie—just in time to see her with her entire head in the trash can so she could literally spit the gum into it.

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And on the same trip, not 20 minutes later, we had another Millie moment.  We were about to go pick up Hannah from camp, which was about an hour and a half away, so I told Millie she needed to go potty before we left.  She took care of business, pulled her pants up, and said, "Mom, want to see what Mrs. Carrie taught me at the restaurant last night?"

I said, "What did Mrs. Carrie teach you?"

She said, "This."  Then she began to raise one leg while she said, "Sometimes the handle is dirty and Mrs. Carrie doesn't want to touch it, so she uses her foot to flush."  Then she started to lose her balance, so to brace herself, she put her hands on the seat of the potty!!  ('Cause that's not dirty at all!)

She might be germy, but she makes me laugh!